In between the sheets

Late night.

Tossing. Turning.

Mind restless. Thoughts so overwhelming.

Everything from:
"Wow looked at my chipped, poorly polished nails"
to:
"I wonder what my life will look like in 5 years..."

Seems my mind finds a thrill in late night pondering.

As I'm lying here... Between the sheets.... I see what God is showing me.
There is a constant battle of the mind "in between the sheets."
What I mean by that is there is a constant battle between your flesh and your spirit. What your spirit desires, and what your flesh craves.
Notice I said:
spirit- desires
Flesh- craves
You will always have a craving for things that momentarily satisfy you. What you do with that craving is up to you. Will you give in? Or will you follow the deepest desires of your soul.

When I find myself "in between the sheets" of compromise and temptation I quickly notice I am often tossing and turning. Shuffling around. Un-settled... Un-easy.

I'm not going to lie... Being 23 in this day and age is hard. Much harder then most people lead on. It's a constant awareness of my weak flesh. To be completely honest, it's not too hard to get caught up in drinking, sex, partying, smoking... It isn't.
Paul even says:

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

-Romans 7:15

When I realize my weakness I can ask for His strength. That when I am up late thinking... That my thoughts would incline to the things of God. That instead of wishing I had a guy.. that I would realize I am already His. Instead of browsing through Facebook... I would "get my face in His book." Instead of thinking of different ways to curl my hair, I would think about how I am taking care of my inner self.

This constant struggle of tossing and turning in between the sheets only reminded me that God never intended for your heart to be restless. He never intended for your heart to be broken, messed with, sabotaged, lied to... He wants to put your mind and heart at ease. Resting knowing He loves you no matter what. No matter the battle. No matter if you give in. No matter the sin you commit. When you turn to Jesus His love and Grace will always lead you to complete rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. -Matthew 11:29

The Organic Way.

I love my job. 

being a nanny is so much fun.

from rushing out the door to make it to school on time, to folding our hands and bowing our heads to say our goodnight prayers and everything in between. 

The chaos.

The crumbs. 

The cute smiles. 

Recently as I was par oozing through the aisles of Whole Foods with one of my girls Presley (4) we were filling the cart with the family necessities. 

yogurt- check

milk- check

fruit- check

We quickly pass aisle by aisle crossing the items off our neatly, organized, categorized list. Prelsey is such a good help and loves to stand on her tippy toes and grab the milk and hand it to be proudly as she accomplished something a "little" girl couldn't do. 

We approached the meat counter and I glanced at out list to read "Organic Chicken Breasts (3)"

The gentleman asked me what I would like and I quickly told him "3 organic Chicken Breasts please" hoping that while Presley was pre-occupied I could quickly make my order without her wanting to order it herself. 

As I placed the chicken in our cart, Presley quickly squints her eyes my direction, grabs to meat out of the cart swiftly, asking "Brookie WAIT! IS THIS ORGANIC?!?!?"

I said of course Presley! Brookie knows what mommy likes! She was then comforted and held my hand as we took off to the checkout. 

Funny thing, as I thought about this, Presley knew that if the meat wasn't Organic that it would not be what mommy would want. That it would be "less" then what mom wanted. She had a look that almost said "that would do harm if it's not!" 

A lot of people settle for the processed, when they could have the Organic. 

What I mean is that even in my own live, I settle for finding my worth in males, or attention.. then the King of affection who is constantly pursuing me. That I lay awake at night and wait for that guy to text me, when I have a love letter from the God of the universe collecting dust on my shelf. 

That we go through life with a check list of accomplishments we hope to cross off (which isn't a bad thing) but that's all we live for. It is just the "processed" view of life. To be real, to be Organic, means to be free. If you think about it Processed foods are caged, filled with hormones, and fed the very cheapest of ways. When we go through life with out Christ, we are constantly going to be searching for some sort of fulfillment-- being caged. We settle for a life of a good job, nice cars, a house, 2.5 children, a dog named spot and that's all. God wants you, while you're living on this earth, this short life you have, to live a life of fulfillment. He wants the best for His children just like mommy wants for Presley. She knows that though she pays more, her return is knowing her children aren't being filled with things that could possibly do harm. Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice, so that His children could live a life of joy, and completeness in Him. Don't settle for the second best, God has sacrificed His best so you could live your best life!